Prosperity or Punishment?

I wasn't gonna post another blog for a while... Nothing was really stirring me. The elections this season were lackluster, to say the very least. My book, though finished, I didn't feel that this was the proper place for advertising ("The El-P" available for digital download and physical purchase December 2010!!! BUY BOTH COPIES!!! HELP FEED MY BABIES!... sorry...). Anyway, I was calmly stalking through my Facebook news feed a few days ago when I stumbled across a link to a CNN story about the right reverend Bishop Eddie Long. For my faithful readers, my last post was about him and the legal issues he's been facing lately. Well, I don't like giving other folks shine for ignorance, and I won't start now, but the journalist of said piece... how do I put it... he or she (okay, it was a HE for you nosey types) was attempting to piggyback on the recent attention any writer has recieved by mentioning (and tagging) Bishop Long in an online story, and his story started off attempting to dissect a past sermon of Bishop Long's where he preached "sex from the pulpit." That's not my beef... well, not ALL my beef. Since I began preaching, and honestly even before then, I knew that the absolute WORST thing someone could do is attempt to take a controversial part of a sermon and expect someone not in attendance, and especially people who may or may not have a relationship with God, to not draw negative conclusions from sound bites and exaggerated blurbs. Case in point, my pastor preached a sermon a few weeks ago about proper sexual relationships (primarily those between married men and women) to which point he said, "It's your DUTY, to please that BOOTY!" Now, to an outsider, not knowing the context of scripture, the mood in and of the congregation, the purpose or biblical reference of the statement made, not to mention if he the person reading has had an unforunate and traumatic experience with a person of the cloth, or if that person of the cloth is embroiled in a very public, very biased sexual misconduct legal situation, that makes it quite difficult and confusing to understand, right? But, I digress... what really grinds my gears is the conversations and comments that resulted from the post. Now, any other time in my life, I wouldn't have give a second thought to the ramblings of people who don't like preachers. I don't like a lot of preachers, for varying reasons... But what I had a problem with I shared with my brother, and now you, as a reader. When did being well-off become a crime? I'll have biblical reference to back up any claims I make, but, I'm honestly a tad lost at the initial thought behind that question. In a country where we pay athletes hundreds of MILLIONS of dollars to run up and down fields and courts, where we shell out billions to let the music and movie industries push crappy music and movies into our homes, where people like this >>>>>> <<<<<<< (or this) get famous without having any ascertainable skills or talent... IF AT ALL!!! You mean that Diddy can make 6 adults walk from Manhattan to Brooklyn for cheesecake, or Flavor Flav can have a house full of scantily clad (I mean lacking dignity, but the other way fits, too) women physically fighting and embarassing themselves on national television, all to gain HIS affections... or Donald Trump can hire and fire other rich people all for the sake of the mighty dollar, but a preacher can't own and drive a nice car and have a beautiful home to live in?!? Seriously, folks, (especially my fellow believers) even the Bible says "... the worker deserves his wages." (1 Timothy 5:18) Now, don't misunderstand the text, as preachers we are instruments of the true and living God (If you disagree, we can talk later), and 90-99% of what we do on Sundays, Wednesdays, or whenever you need to hear a Word from Him, is Him working THROUGH a flawed vessel. But, don't underestimate that 1-10%. That is the time we spend on OUR faces, praying on YOUR behalf! That is time spent fasting, denying our PHYSICAL well-being for your SPIRITUAL well-being! That is time studying to gain a greater understanding of the parables God has given us to decipher for your breakthrough! And that requires work! "But Rob, that's just a cop out!" If that's what you believe, then why is it that 57% of pastors would leave the pastorate if they had somewhere to go or a vocation of ANY kind? The stress that accompanies the ministry doesn't only affect the minister, but his/her family as well... What sane person wants to put that kind of trauma on the people they love? 1,500 pastors leave their ministry every month... and this isn't a job that offers early retirement packages, 401ks, etc... Along with doctors and lawyers, the CLERGY has the most problems with drug and alcohol abuse, as well as high suicide rates. That 1-10% sound important, yet?

But, I digress, yet again...

I was upset at the fact that people use the basis of a minister's income or net worth as a barometer of whether or not he is an effective or ineffective vessel. I heard an influential pastor preaching a while back, and his analogy struck a chord with me. He said that people are never satisfied with the money a minister has... If you stand before a group of people, wearing a beautiful tailored suit, gators (or whatever shoe they wear), drive a Mecedes, and live in Geist (an affluent area in my hometown where athletes, politicians, business owners, and the like reside), then the people are already tuned out because they've made up their mind about what kind of preacher you are and they are expecting you to preach exclusively about money. But, on the flipside, if you're wearing an ill-fitted or shabby suit, shoes beat up (or you're wearing gym shoes with a dress suit), drive a Dodge POS (Al Bundy status), and live in some shack of a house/apartment, then you're not BLESSED?!?! Ain't that a kick in the head? My brother told me that he personally isn't against a preacher having money, but why does he have to have EXCESS? I chuckled at that comment. Most preachers have families... children, wives, possibly grandchildren, which means they want to provide the same opportunities and chances to future genertions that any sound businessperson would. Does Bill Gates need 50+ BILLION dollars?!? Does, Facebook founder (and 26 year-old mogul) Mark Zuckerberg need 6.9 billion? The bible calls us to be good stewards over what we have been blessed with, and if I make my provisions work for me, and reap the benefit of my additions multiplying, is that sin? >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Okay, maybe the pic is a bit overzealous, but, I do believe God when David said that his cup runneth (or past tense "ranneth") over or, "Test me in this, and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it." (a little Malachi 3:10). My obligation to God lies in my obedience to His command of tithing (giving back 10% in firstfruits) to Him, through the "storehouse" aka, the church. Now, I don't stop there, either, because I am commanded to give an offering (sacrifice) as well, not in atonement for sin, but for charity and the better serving of the community by the church. In order for me to be in a position to recieve immeasurable blessings, I must BE an immeasurable blessing... See what Divine math will teach you? You gain based on how you give. And I'm not talking immediate return, but I do know that God makes provisions happen, when they NEED to happen! But, you're thinking, "Rob, what does that have to do with prosperity?" Everything! If I preach a message of reaping, I must mention in that same message about sowing, because who harvests fruit without first planting a seed?

Look, this is how I've grown to feel. As always, it's my opinion first, and much like any one of you reading, we're ALL entitled to one. I welcome your comments, questions, and discussions about how "preachers preaching money is wrong", and "preachers having more money than the church is horrible." Ultimately, it's a level that not all will understand or experience... But one thing I will NEVER, EVER do is complain, supress, depress, and not celebrate the blessings my God has given me. So, if you don't agree with how I celebrate God's goodness, take it up with the Blessor, not the blessee...

Peace+Love

Who Are We?

It was bound to happen... Two weeks of hearing about it, constantly conversing about it at work, even engaging in different discussions at work was bound to have me take to my personal spot and start venting, espousing, and generally rambling about the Bishop Eddie Long Scandal. Now, before I get too deep, I want to remind all of you reading this, that, despite what I think, ultimately God is the only one in complete truth about this ordeal, and He and He ALONE is the only one in authority to pass judgement on those guilty or innocent. So, even if proven guilty, Bishop, you and your family are in my prayers.

Now, I, like many, am left in the dark, asking so many questions about this predicament. Bishop Long has stated, personally and through his attourney, that he will not allow this to be judged in the court of public opinion... I'll start right there. Bishop (I'm pretending that he is a loyal reader of my blog, here...), as a minister of the faith, I understand why you feel that way, but, I don't agree with it. Let's face facts, you're the leader of a globally reknowned church, with both political, spiritual, and entertainment ties to the public at large. You are a charming and charismatic figure, who, though known in circles as a humble servant, has not escaped the slings and barbs of public critcism based on the flaunting of wealth, as well as your penchant as minister of the "prosperity movement." Bishop... (prayerfully he's still reading), this went to the public jury two hours after CNN broke the story. Damage control needs to be in order, though, I must admit, you and your staff are handling this with the utmost class and tact. I know, I know you made statements to the New Birth body... that was appropriate. They are the ones who will be affectedly directly by the outcome/resoltuion of this, but, for those outside of Lithonia, GA... those of us who feel ministered to via internet, radio, and televison, we need a statement. We need a wod of consolation, a simple word, "I'm fighting this; this is untrue..." Something not read from an IPad or dictated to a paralegal. Sincere words that will help us keep confidence in your innocence. You don't wanna talk to Don Lemon or Anderson Cooper, definitely not Bill O'Reiley, fine. Mo'Nique is probably salivating to get you on her couch... toss the fluffy female Arsenio a bone (she reminds us of why we loved Oprah at first)... Tom Joyner has called... for our Caucasian friends, Larry King or Barbara Walters are pretty tame these days! But, please, get out and say SOMETHING!

As a great segue, Brother Jamal... (I'll pretend that he's reading, too) I'll share this simply with you: Listen to your legal counsel. She's trying hard to win you a lot of money (be it fairly or unfairly), and if you and your co-plantiffs lose, based on you getting caught outside a Walmart and basically giving statements about Bishop Long, to a news crew, instead of saying "no comment" and walking away, then you will a.) Get destroyed in the aftermath by the public outcry, and b.) jeopardize the safety of others in the position you claim to have once been in. I'm not a lawyer nor journalist by trade or schooling, but, I saw so many holes in your comments that this guy (see below) could relocate the lake of fire inside it. In other words, brother, your

story by itself, is pure hell. It has no grounds to stand on, aside from some questionable photos, which were almost immediately shot down by members (both the prominient and the not so influential) of New Birth, both curren and former. And, since I'm already here, why not speak of the why we WOULD believe in a group of guys concocting a story of molestation against a famous preacher? To be transparent, many (both in and out of the body) have a very low tolerance for preachers, imams, priests, rabbis, yogis, and anyone else who claims to have some authority (especially in a religion) because of the sins of the past. Whenever claims of this nature are raised, we immediately deem the accused party guilty, based on the fact that the last one got away! So, (given the info available) a young man is arrested and prosecuted for breaking and entering into Bishop Long's home and stealing jewlery, gadgets and gizmos, totaling somewhere around the 100k range... THEN all of a sudden, he and his friend were molested by the bishop when they were teenagers... and later in the week, one of their friends, and one other member of the church who claims to have no prior knowledge of any of the suspected victims, come out of the woodwork claiming the EXACT same story. "But, we're boys! Why would boys make up a story as traumatizing, as humiliating as this for moetary gain?" Good question brother... Quick poll... anyone remember how much the 13 year-old little boy who initially claimed to have been molested by Michael Jackson settled for? $20 MILLION dollars. That's not a typo. Now, Eddie Long (personally) has nowhere NEAR the money that ol' MJ had, but that must be the reason the church is named in the suit, right? The suit, that's not about money, names Long's ministry and and New Birth MBC as co-defendants... Things that make you go, hmmm...

Back to you, Bishop... (you're still with me, right?) Now, I left you with damage control, which leads me to the infamous photos... *Sigh* Bishop, I remember the old photos and video clips. We know that you were "healthy" (translation: chubby) back in the day, the S-Curl was even thinning out a bit... But then, I see these cellphone pics of this YOKED bishop that drastically resembles the Bishop Long I use to see. And these pics come out as a part of this scandal with these boys and I think, as a minister: C'mon Son!!! >>>>>>>>>>>

Now, granted I'm still a babe in the preaching aspect of the ministry, but I knew when I was yet an ACTUAL babe, that men (and women) of the cloth are held to a standard, and that they should not forget to remain above reproach. Is there anything implied by the photos? No. Are they, even vaguely, sexually subjective or any sexual overtones implied? No... (thankfully). So what's the big deal? They're just a bad character reference at this point. Unless you can CONVINCINGLY argue that you thought you were sending those to the folks at P90X, and mixed up the addresses and or cell phone numbers, then it just makes you seem a little creepy and just as conceited as some assume you are. I mean, I like to work out. I need to do it more, definitely, but I would never send pics of myself posing in a bathroom mirror, in Under Armor... glistening about the arms and thighs, to another dude. Not even family. Not a workout buddy, not a fitness guru. Definitely not to a member of my congregation who looked to me as a "father-figure", and could possibly use them as weak evidence of sexual misconduct. Bishop: bad move.

All in all, folks, what does all this mean? As a Christian, I am duty bound by God the Father, and by Jesus Christ to be forgiving. Murder a family member, I MUST forgive. It's not an option, it's a prerequisite! I don't get to pick and choose whom I forgive, I forgive ALL! As much as it pains my flesh at times, I still do it. You probably wondered as you read through this blog post why the title was "Who Are We?" and the anwer is here. I spoke with a fellow (but greatly seasoned) minister this past Sunday about this whole scandal nonsense, and he spoke something that I have yet to see take place: When do we, as a body of believers, come together, pray, stop gossipping and forgive him? Guilty or innocent, when do we say, "As charged by our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, brother, we accept your humble and sincere apology, and embrace and forgive you for your transgression." We spend so much time tearing down, get so involved in finding fault in other human beings, that we forget that we are just that! Many like using the excuse that we as ministers and evangelists, preachers and pastors, apostles, bishops, prophets and the like, are "supposed" to be the living representations of Christ on earth, that we forget that ALL Christians are called under that same definition! So if we stand in line to cast stones, we must expect to receive the same punishment and judgement when we have shortcomings and suffer with sin. I don't personally know nor have a relationship with Bishop Eddie Long, I've stated this numerous times, but what I do have is a spiritual kinship with him, as when I accepted Christ as my Savior, I was accepted as a spiritual son of God and made joint heir in an eternal inheiritance with my spiritual brother, Jesus Christ. I will support him, not because I feel I have something to gain behind it, but simply because I am held to a standard, charged by Christ Jesus to do so. So, I simply finish by asking a simple question: Who are you? Are you a Christian, in the spiritual sense of what you are expected to be, or are you a christian in the religious word only?

Peace+Love

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We MUST Do Better

Instead of giving you some long, drawn out explanation as to where I've been hiding for the past eight months (sheesh, it's been that long?!?) I've decided to let this post speak for me.

I've been a fan of Jam Donaldson's blog "Conversate is NOT a Word" for a good minute, and if you can't tell, a bit of my writing in this blog reflects that. Her topics, her candid and witty expeditions of our culture and generation, and her HONESTY, something that a lot of us "cyber-journalists" (as I've grown accustomed to calling myself) or "bloggers" (a term I despise) have gotten further and further away from. Today, I vow a rededication to Honest, truthful (at the expense of hurting felings, though not intentionally) "cyber-journalism" or in this case "virtual editorial", much like that promised, decades ago, by recently passed on news anchor Walter Kronkite. I apologize now for those that may feel attacked, offended, or confused by some of the terminology that you will read within this post. For those with weak constitutions, or simply have too much "nigga" in your system to understand the dire nature of our condition, then I believe Spongebob is still on. Maybe you should watch that while you stroke your memorial tattoos of 2Pac, Eazy E, & Biggie Smalls all holding hands and praying around an AK-47 above the phrase that begs that eternal question "Is There a Heaven for a Gangsta?"

Recently, my hometown hosted the 39th annual Indiana Black Expo Summer Celebration. Thirty-nine years of Minority Health fairs, symposiums, job fairs, and other positive things to help uplift, what started as, the Black community (in recent years, it has expanded to include ALL races and nationalities, yet remains the biggest fundraiser for the not-for-profit entity known as Indiana Black Expo). Every year, Expo attracts hundreds of thousands of visitors, vendors, athletes, movie stars, et cetera, to big 'ol little downtown Indianapolis for nine days of "blackness." It should be positive. It should be uplifting. We have even incorporated corporate worship during Expo, every year with a Gospel Explosion on the final Sunday, including a word from Pastor Jeffrey Johnson of Eastern Star Church! But when have you ever known anything to go exactly as it should in America?

Expo has had its fair share of black eyes over the years. "Soulfest" was an outdoor concert/fair that was hosted by IBE in Washington Park years ago. I watched many up and coming groups perform on the free stage as a child including rap group BMW, my uncle's band N.A.P (not to be confused with the legendary Indianapolis rap group of the same name) performed there, as well as enjoyed the vendors that littered the park selling everything from t-shirts and hats, to lemon icees and barbeque... We don't have "Soulfest" anymore as a part of Expo (or otherwise), due to escalating violence perpetrated in the park, as well as accusations of police brutality. "Soulfest", as positive as it was and could have been, lasted a mere 8 years in IBE's history. The last "Soulfest" was in 1995, and like many, I'm left wondering why? As recently as 1997, during a very tumultuous period of life in Indianapolis, characterized by threats of protests and eventual rallies by factions such as the Ku Klux Klan, Black Panthers, and Nation of Islam, cries of racial discrimination began permeating what should've been a joyous time during the annual event known as Black Expo's Summer Celebration. In a city whose racial make-up is reported to be 35 percent Black, 50 percent White, and 15 percent "Other", boasting a "diverse" police force of 70 percent white, 25 percent black, and 5 percent "Other", black youth were accusing the white officials of brutality, harassment, and other discriminatory acts.

"So, what's you're point, Double Ii?"

I'm getting there. Throughout history, Black people have been treated unfairly based solely on the color of their skin, fears instilled by the majority, and ignorance. In Indianapolis, Dr. Charles Willaims decided, at great risk to his own memory and legacy, to usher in and help create a NEW understanding of black people in his city. Expo could have failed, nearly forty years ago, but it didn't, thanks to other upstanding individuals and citizens, both private and public, who stood on the same basic principles that Dr. Williams did concerning the objective view Black people portrayed in the public perspective. They helped change the perspective of a backwoods, hillbilly city, more infatuated with fast cars driving around a big circle, who cared less about the "darkies" slowly populating their city, working for pennies, doing the menial work they themselves thought of as "beneath" them...

And this is how we repay them...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cvOoPOOJPVY or

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N_jFG18gV5k or

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ukhqjY_HpnA (hey, Tupac showed up... Weird, huh?)

Now, I know that some of you may be screaming "Uncle Tom" at this point, or, readying your darts to refute any and all claims made here, but, hear me out first (oh... that's right! I'm typing and you're reading, so, you have to read all of this before you respond... tee-hee)! The number one claim of Expo goers (the many, many teens, pre-teens, and early adults [20-23]) is that they're not bothering anyone. Wrong! Though you, individually, may not be bothering anyone, the innumerous mass of humanity you can't take claim for is! Downtown Indianapolis is STILL a residential area, though, it's not labeled in that manner. There are, still, numerous businesses that thrive down there, such as, Ruth Chris Steakhouse, United Artists movie theater, and, the Steak n' Shake that sits on the corner of Illinois and Maryland (which will be discussed further, shortly), that can barely turn a profit during the "busiest days/nights of Expo". Why do these businesses and residents suffer, you ask? Because "Niggas" don't know how to act. Ooooooh... the minister-to-be used the N-word...! I did, and I meant it. Too often have we not taken responsibility for our actions, merely excusing the acts of ignorant brothers and sisters with a smile saying 'You know how they are!' I won't do it anymore! I won't let my children grow up believing that they will get a pass once or twice a year to "act out" because everybody else does! I won't let my daughter walk around, in crowds, with friends, dressed to entice a bunch of horned up jackasses barely able to keep their own clothes on! I won't let my sons waste gas driving up and down blocked streets in an attempt to go... NOWHERE! Nor will I let ANY of my children spend my OR their money on overpriced outfits they only plan on wearing once or twice, just because! There's a sermon in this, but that's not my goal at this point! We should be ashamed of ourselves for allowing this once proud, two week event to degrade itself into being known and recognized for THREE DAYS and TWO NIGHTS! It went from being a two week celebration to being a FREAKIN' WEEKEND!!! And then we, in the Black community, complain about the way that police do their job... SMH. Now, again, I know that police brutality is an issue in most major cities. Sometimes, the wrong people wear a badge and use that authorative power for the wrong reasons (White, Black, and "Other"). But, when a cop is trying to break-up a fight on a public street, and has to resort to pepper spraying an unruly crowd surrounding the fracas, or shooting bean bags at possibly armed combatants, WTF is the problem?!?

As for the businesses... wow... For the past three or four years (maybe longer), the Steak n' Shake on the corner of Illinois and Maryland has CLOSED for the final three nights of Expo. A twenty-four hour restaurant CLOSES to the greater public for three nights, why??? Is it racism? Do the managers of the establishement have a secret hatred for black people? Can't be that as 40+ percent of its staff is Black. Is it "routine maitenence" as the signs hanging indicated? Nah, because in the 10 years that I've patronized them, never even seen new tile in the joint. The answer may surprise you, readers. Let's say on an average Saturday night, between the hours of 8pm and 4 am, this business makes $700, not including tips. Paltry, but sufficient for the costs of labor and other overhead. Now, what if I told you that this same business, during "the busiest night(s) of Expo", barely made $100 dollars between 8pm and 4am, what would you say? We, meaning we racial pot-stirrers, we glass half full enthusiasts, look, search, pray, hope even, for the smallest hiccup to shine light on our cause. But it IS NOT in this story! Weekly, the White Castle on 38th and Keystone (and all adjacent corners within a half mile radius) is overrun with Black youth "cruising". Riding around, parking, hanging out (legally speaking "LOITERING"), blocking and preventing paying patrons from being serviced in a timely manner and fashion. They close twice a year (Thanksgiving and Christmas). The ownership and management got proactive and decided that every Friday, Saturday, and Sunday night, INSTEAD of losing money, police would be summoned to the lot to keep non-paying loitering people off the premises. Steak n' Shake doesn't have that option. What they do have, however, is the ability to cut their losses, and close (briefly), then reopen when foot and street traffic dies down to ensure the appropriate atmosphere is attained for their customers. Not the wisest decision, but a decision they felt worked best for their business.

I, personally, am tired, folks. I'm tired of the complaining. I'm tired of the false claims of racism. I'm tired of the backwards logic involved in most arguments involving relations of the public between IBE Summer Celebration & Circle City Classic to The Indianapolis 500 & Brickyard 400, every year. Unfortunately, people, it's not a black or white thing. It's a who can conduct themselves in a decent manner thing. If I leave my house with the sole intention of being a disruption anywhere in this or any other city (whether or not I think of it as "harmless"), I do so with every intent of assuming responsibility for my individual actions. When do we stop blaming establishments and others for out poor judgement? When do we decide to "grow up" out of this childish state of mind that believes that you're owed something JUST because you're here? IBE will have another Summer Celebration next year. 40 years of unity, knowledge, and growth. And for nine days, it may be that. But, like clockwork, come 8:30 or 9pm, that final Friday of Expo (or as the many ignorant folk in this city believe the "start" of Expo) niggas will patrol the streets of downtown. Overcrowding intersections, blocking traffic in monsterous cars and trucks blasting perverse and unintelligble music. Kids no older than 11 or 12 will be subjected to and a part of throngs of people, walking the streets with no aim, attempting to seduce and entice their peers clad in the latest trends and skimpiest outfits. Police will stand watch, as always, reduced to being mere hall monitors and traffic directors, afraid of the possible backlash they will face if they have to break up a fight, or spot someone performing sexual acts on public streets, or ticket some knucklehead unsafely operating his or her car in traffic. In a day and age when technology has made us more intelligent and freed from the grips of undocumented brutality, the "officers of law" have become spectators and referees to a spectacle deteriorating right before their eyes. IBE won't speak about it, because they provide this outlet. Magazine owners and editors, vloggers, and specialty documentary makers make money selling the exploits to those who want to relive the tomfoolery and shenanigans. And niggas themselves, don't see anything wrong with it. I love my people. I love my city. But I have never, and will never love the ignorance that the two bring out of one another. We have to do better than this. The last thing I want to see is a symbol for Black pride in my home state and city go from this...

and this...

to this...

or this...

Peace+Love, God Bless

Double Ii from Double I

Still On My Poetry Grizzlie

Aight.


Obama won, we're all in the afterglow, but, I STILL have a job to do: Writing my thoughts, opinions, feelings, and truths for mass consumption. Since I haven't posted anything since the election, I'm gonna post this poem I've been holding onto for about 2 months, to whet your appetites. Don't worry... I'm working on pissing people off on this site, again, so don't worry. '09 is my year, so DON'T SLEEP!! Middle of Da Map Magazine IS comin', and there's NOTHING my very WELL employed haters can do about it...

This piece came about after an episode with my own, internalized, feelings, as well as a few choice words with some not-worth-shit individuals who will remain nameless/clueless...


Mama's Baby, Daddy's Maybe... (a son's contempt of Father & Fatherhood)
By r. clark

It wasn't because he missed my first steps.
He was working...
It wasn't all the Halloween costumes, or birthday parties he missed, because, I understood for a long time.
He wasn't in town...
It wasn't even that I learned how to tie my shoes, ride my bike, drive a car, or kiss a girl without his help or encouragement.
He was busy...
No, I was the product of a relationship that ended long before conception,
The product of lust and longing.
What could be considered a relationship of convenience, to some,
Produced a, handsome, baby boy destined to have the subtle nuances of his donor...
His contempt of relationships and brown eyes...
His flirtatious smile and broad shoulders...
His ability to break hearts and maintain a lustful hold over his conquests...
His stocky build and pigeon-toed strut...
My silver tongue, forged from my father's deceiving fire...
It's because of his ways that I never connected in relationships
My wife can't understand why I'm so drawn to watchin' women wiggle their hips
She doesn't understand my penchant for spewing sweet venom from these lips,
All of this comes from the genes I've been equipped
Never allowing myself to become whipped
I'd rather be master than 'bate...
The way I've always known.
Now a father, I expect so much from children so young
Constantly contemplating my sudden disappearing act, leading them into a cycle all too familiar
I want to break it...
But, here I am, a reflection of my father's unsteadiness,
Young and restless in search of someone Bold and Beautiful to share the Days of my Life with...
See, this soap opera I call 'life' should've given me a pass.
Should've given me cause to become another statistic
Yet, it was my mother's will I grasped to. Her stubborn nature and strong will.
Her "Do-anything-I-want/NEED-to" get by attitude,
Her "Family First" philosophy, her "Give-my-all-in-love" creed,
Her open heart, her sharp mind, her "quick to listen, but slow to speak" motto... That routinely gets broken,
But, I digress...
Through him, I got HER, and she got me,
So...
I didn't need him to: teach me how to fight,
Or how to tackle,
Or how to shoot a jumper,
Or how to shave...
Because I had HER.
Because she was there to teach me how to:
Appreciate the love in my life,
Put my pen to pad and express my thoughts and feelings,
Love MORE THAN just me,
And most importantly...
To forgive.

© Robert Clark, 2008



Again, check back here for more from me, as WELL as midwestbeasts.blogspot.com to keep up with the Mid BEST's HOTTEST acts!

Peace,

Double Ii







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Hope. Change. Faith.

Sit back and enjoy it, folks. In this moment, we have elected a new President for our country, and changed history. I find myself, among many things, excited, and uplifted. Actually, I'm overwhelmed at the idea and prospect. Do we know what we've done? Do we understand the ramifications? To put it in perspective for myself, with 3 children (2 boys, and a girl in the middle) to raise, I, NOW, do not have to flinch when I look them in the eye and tell them that they can be absolutely ANYTHING they want in life... Hell, being 27 years old, myself, I feel inspired to reach for things that I never dreamed possible. Being a black man, and FINALLY feeling the burden of oppression, second best-ness, and not good enough being thrust from our backs and shoulders after almost 500 years in this country... Wow. I drove my kids to school this morning, and it seemed surreal... Indiana in November is usually a really gray, cold, bland city. But, November 5th, 2008, saw the sun smiling down on a vibrant, happier, colorful city happily embracing the change the IT'S people helped bring about. Historically a "Red" state in Presidential elections, this time, WE got it right. We bitched and moaned about the direction that our country was heading in under Bush's leadership, we bitched and moaned about change, and we answered our OWN call. A co-worker of mine voted for the first time in this election and when I asked him how he voted, he said the most profound thing I've heard this entire election season. He said, "I voted, but I didn't vote a straight ticket... I wanted to make sure that I PERSONALLY filled in the oval next to his (Barack Obama's) name. I wanted to be able to tell my kids that I VOTED for HIM!"...


Funny. This is what we've waited for for so many years, but the greater question at hand is what will we do with this opportunity? This is one of the greatest question posed to us at this juncture. No longer can we rest on our laurels complaining about how hard it is to get ahead. No longer can we accept mediocrity from our children OR ourselves. This country has has built numerous industries on the basis of it's people's lack of motivation, or for lack of a better term, laziness. People, we've talked a great game, lately. We've ALL been motivated, empowered, jubilant, and so much more from this experience. But this can't be our ONLY footprint left in the world. We can't subject our legacy to obscurity bevause we failed to (in the words of OUR President, borrowed from Martin Luther King, Jr), "...Act on the urgency of now." We've crossed the bridge, climbed the mountain, and see the Promised Land... But what will we build on that land? What fruit will that land bear?


All in all, for this occasion, we've earned it. We've earned the celebrations. We've earned the high fives, dancing, shouting, tears of joy, etc. But, let us not get caught up in the moment and forget why we've been given this chance. Let us not leave this country solely in the hands of one man and expect miracles from him (despite what the jokes imply, he's NOT the Messiah...). This country has been before, and can be great, again. But, it takes ALL of us to see that vision. It takes parents being better parents, it takes government changing outdated, immoral, racist laws and making better choices for it's people. But more than anything, it takes an effort, from every willing, able-bodied, person to put this country back on track.

*"This ain't a diss song, it's a real song"* --Jay-Z

Peace and God Bless

Double Ii

Misogyny In Hip-Hop (bka "BootyBootyBooty Shakin' E'rywhere!!!)

So, I'm watching that "Hip-Hop versus America" panel (that BET aired a few months back) on DVR the other day. Aside from the barking and clucking that overpowered hosts MC Lyte and Jeff Johnson, I noticed that in the two years since Don Imus' infamous remarks, we're still obsessing over this whole "misogny" issue in hip-hop. I've managed to stay somewhat quiet since the fallout that has turned generation against generation, father against son, mother against daughter... But, I now feel that it's time to get my 15 minutes of fame and add my two cents to this pissing party.

(Misogyny: a noun meaning "Hatred of women". From the Greek "misos" meaning 'hatred' and "gune" meaning 'women'. Source: Oxford English Dictionary.)

I wish that sometimes people would look up the definitions of words BEFORE they apply them. Especially the so-called educated "intelligentsia" that throw this word around like Jeezy throws cash at Magic City (if that's too ghetto an analogy... deal with it...). Everytime I turn on some panel, or discussion, or round table concerning rap music, misogyny is the FIRST word thrown out. Like rappers CREATED misogyny. Hell, most rappers can't SPELL "misogyny," and even fewer know what it means!

Let me be perfectly clear before I go too deep into this rant... For the most part, rappers are NOT misogynists. Hip-Hop as a culture doesn't condone "hate" of ANY kind, and to include (or disclude, depending on your personal view or the state of Hip-hop) a gender that you supposedly hate would be considered hypocritical. Like the Klan accepting Gay, Jewish, Asian, Arab, Hispanic, or Black members (is that better for you?).

(Hate: [v]; to feel intense dislike for or a strong aversion for.
1. [n] intense dislike or strong aversion for. 2. [informal] a disliked person or thing. Source: Oxford English Dictionary.)

Yes. Today, class is in session. So, since we're talking about it, where does this ideology of a misogynistic Hip-Hop stem from? Is it politics? No, it didn't become political until election time came around. Is it religious? Really? Most religions have been key proponents in the stagnation and dissemination of the Women's Rights movement! I know male PASTORS who won't dignify or acknowledge a female contemporary. In the Catholic sect, women STILL can't lead Mass nor become ordained pastors, bishops, et cetera (*chuckling* religion...)! Is it feminists? Nah, it can't be feminists because they would check the WOMEN before they blasted off on the (male-dominated, cock swinging majority of an...) industry, as a whole...

"So who, Rob?"

Hip-hop did. This whole time, people IN Hip-Hop are wondering who was blasting them, and years later, we find out that it's our OWN... SMFH. Surprised, huh? Shouldn't be, really. Hip-Hop has always tried to stand on it's own morals, and tried to be the "hood's CNN". In the late 80's and early 90's, though, Hip-Hop started policing itself. The gangsta rap ethos of street awareness was separating itself sonically and socially from its counterparts. Almost overnight, Hip-Hop went from party songs, breaking, and graf writing, to police brutality, racially instituted economic differences, and turmoil within the community. With this newfound voice, rappers (like ANY creative artists) began to vent their frustrations of heartbreak, abuse, mistrust, and the like.

(Funny. It took a WHITE man calling black women "nappy headed hoes" for Hip-Hop to get tossed under the bus. AGAIN.)

Now, back to this "misogyny" thing...

Reading the definitions provided, do you still believe that Hip-Hop, or on a smaller scale, rap music is misogynist? You do? What if I told you that more women have perpetuated a misogynistic attitude in Hip-Hop than men... From Roxanne Shanté (whom I love AND respect) through Chyna Whyte (whom I ALSO love and respect), female emcees (or "femcees") have been more avid to spitting so-called "misogynistic" lyrics. Don't believe me? Reference rap lyrics from ANY femcee in the past 20 years, and you'll see my point (might I suggest OHHLA.com, that site's been a saving grace of mine for YEARS). I know that some people may find it hard to believe, especially since men outnumber women in Hip-Hop at a rate of 4 to 1, but by definition you must "hate" a woman in order to be misogynist (yeah, I'm splitting hairs).

Now, I'm man enough to admit one thing: Rap music (POPULAR, MAINSTREAM), for the most part has become some weird hybrid of street/soft porn/thuggery/masculine commercialism. Instead of catering to the masses, it caters to the hyper-sexualized caveman with a ADD. It's brightly colored flashing lights, jiggling thonged asses, and posturing remind me of Vegas with tattoos and a gold grille. It may be sexist. It may be opulent and unnecessary and obnoxious (at times). But, it's not hateful. It doesn't promote negativity towards women (a thorough listen to most lyrics will yield that most of the "bitches" and "hoes" referenced in song are actually men). It does encourage salicious and immoral behavior (I mean, c'mon, "Back Dat Azz Up"? "Shake Ya Azz"? "Doo-Doo Brown"? "Gettin' Sum [Head]"? "Nookie [Pussy Real Good]"?...), but that is NOT hate. And if women are participating in said behaviors (hint: the last two songs I mentioned were made by female rappers), don't they, too, have a responsibility to the way Hip-Hop is viewed?

Look out for Part Two: "Chicks Do It Best"!


Peace



(P.S. Check out the new blog, " Middle Of Da Map Presents: The Mid Best". The blog dedicated to all things Midwest Hip-Hop! Find it at midwestbeasts.blogspot.com, and tell your friends about it!)

Opulence: Ignorance Truly IS Bliss...

I've always been curious as to why we as humans have such a penchant for the flossing of our wealth. Of course, saying "human" I mean "black people" and "flossing" I mean "gaudy and tasteless"... Seriously folks, WTF is goings on with us?!? It's sad that you can always tell when "we" get some money, because the first thing we do is splurge on something that's worth LESS than what we paid for it!! I bring this up because of conversations I've had lately with my friends and family. We STARTED out talking about the ridiculous chains and other gaudy & tasteless jewlery famous (black) people adorn themselves with... and it degraded itself from there. From the four-finger rings of the 70's and 80's, to Lil' Jon's "Crunk Ain't Dead!!!" charm and everything thing in-between, THIS is what WE want to splurge on.

I thought it was strange when I first read (yes, I READ things while Cable TV was invented) about Kings and Queens of the past (African and European) who went to great extremes to show all the wealth they had amassed (be it through "legitimate" spoils of war, or that grey area that most usually fell into...). In current and ancient times, wealth has always been defined by society and culture... So, while the Ancient Greeks, Egyptians, and Romans, valued jewels and spices and gold, they were no more wealthy than their tribal counterparts that adorned themselves with the bones and ivory of slaughtered prey and conquered territory (more a sign of power, than wealth, but, you'll see the similarities soon). See, the wearing of wealth has been around for a long time... as long as time, honestly. In Victorian England (and America), wearing fine silks and fabrics in multiple layers, huge powdered wigs, and even make-up and perfume showed the wealth of men. Black men were no different, though not afforded the access to much of the same things of their white counterparts, they found that, within their circles, the more they imitated wealthy whites the wealthier they were viewed...

Which still doesn't answer my question:

Actually, I'm more concerned with the present, instead of the past. Yeah, I know you can't know move ahead without understanding the past, but, I believe we're taking ignorant bliss too damned far! Some of the indulgences I've seen my people engross themselves with borderlines on mental deficiency, and the rest of us allow it as if nothing is wrong at all. All I heard as a child, from my elders (not peers) was that, should I ever come into money, the first thing I should do is invest and spend it WISELY. Let me spell that for you, again: W-I-S-E-L-Y!!! I knew at age 10 that cars and jewelry DEPRECIATE once they are a) Driven off the lot/walked out of a store and b) customized, yet, my peers (and sadly, some elders) do just these ignorant things! Case in point: Three (3) years ago, the Houston rap scene was exploding, and with this branch of the music I fell in love with, came the fads and accessories of the region. Next thing you knew, EVERYBODY wanted to: Ride 84's, sip lean, bang Screw (R.I.P), and put diamonds in their MOUTHS!! Well, here we are three (3) years later and EVERYBODY, from Fat Joe to BROOKE FUCKIN' HOGAN (and speed demon little bro Nick) has (or had) a MOTHERFUCKING grill!!! Nelly and Jermaine Dupri did a song for them!! And as with rap music, it's not just WHO has it, its WHO PAID MORE! Houston hip-hopper Paul Wall and his partner "TV" Johnny Dang have been adorning the mouths of rappers and other Houstonites for years at an average cost of about $12,000/ per grill... Let that soak in for a minute. The same amount that could purchase you some major stock in some worthwhile companies, the same price that could see most peoples debt wiped cleaned, the SAME COST to put a student through TWO YEARS OF COLLEGE now rest in some dude's mouth breeding gingivitis and food particles... Oh! And I forgot the BESTEST part; more than HALF of the people who bought into the "fad" NO LONGER WEAR THE GRILLES AT ALL! Yes, the luxury of waste is greatest sign of the wealthy, and rappers are the cremè de la cremè when it comes to this aspect. And their followers (can you REALLY call most of these people fans?) dig themselves into unbelieveable debt trying to emulate their idols. $1500 for a bottle of Champagne to WASTE at the club. Custom-made jewelry valued in tens and sometimes HUNDREDS of thousands of dollar price points that devalue the moment it leaves the store, only to THROW it into waving throngs of fans at a concert. The excessive product placement of clothing and liquor companies that invest NOTHING back into the communities they pillage have become the "must haves" that the "should nots" kill and steal to achieve. And those who don't go that route become the future "trappers" to re-cycle this ideaology to another generation of kids... smfh.

I think my qualm isn't with the acquisition of riches, it's the spending habits of the untrained and irresponsible (yeah, I like that word). I'm not looking for everyone to tithe faithfully (okay, maybe I DO, but, until I tithe FAITHFULLY, they can slide a little), but I do expect some common sense in spending habits. I grew up around dudes who bought late model Caddys, Bonnies, Montes, and Regals (look it up if you don't know what I'm talking about), took whatever money they had and threw twenties, 22's, 24's, crazy paint jobs, bangs and screens (I apologize if my ghetto vernacular is making your head spin) and NEVER MOVED OUT OF THEIR MOM'S CRIBS! I mean, how can you put 20 or 30 grand into your car, yet still be living in the same shitty basement of the same shitty neighborhood you grew up in?!? Just to say that you "got more than the next dude?" That's fuckin' retarded!

(Wait. Before I completely lose my self, I have to say something. I have friends and family that live, somewhat, opulent lifestyles, while in the luxury of their parent's homes. What I'm bitchin' about isn't the comfort of home living, it's the lack of financial education. I know guys who buy new cars while living at mom and dad's who are simply building their credit scores... I also know guys who live at home who don't work, smoke pounds of weed, and don't take care of other responsibilities... This blog is for them.)

Actually, no. This blog is about what America affords us, and that's the ability to stand up in front of the entire world, pull down our pants and SHOW OUR ASSES! I still don't understand it, I don't think I ever will. And sadly, the only thing I truly care about is the fact that I live in a country that affords me the right and opportunity to do as such. So, even though I'm not a proponent of gaudy jewelry, 30 inch rims, platinum teeth, and the likes, when I allow MTV access to my 6000 to 8000 square foot home, and people ask, "Does he really need projection screens in FOUR ROOMS?" The answer is "no," but, I can't take it with me, and if you're jealous, HUSTLE HARDER THAN ME!!!


Peace.

From The Archives: "What, Am I Supposed..."

I know that a few of you are probably asking yourselves, "Why is he posting 'Archive' blogs? He's no Perez Hilton or Jam Donaldson! Who does he think he is?!? He's probably being lazy and not wanting to write anything profound again..." blah, blah, blah...

Nah, actually, I'm working on my books and, though there is a lot for me to touch on, getting these books done is MORE important. Be patient, though, I will make time to post more current rantings about life and the magazine (Middle Of Da Map, still coming soon!!!)!
So, with that said, I present to you, "What... I'm SUPPOSED To Be Doing Something Else???"

From: 10/11/2006
Category: Blogging

Man... It's been years, I guess, huh? The Kid's been busy.. Doing life, doing okay, doing my girl...(you knew it was coming)... But, you know, I can't keep loyal folks in the dark forever, right?
    I guess I've been real introspective lately. You know, my grandma passed over a year ago, and I vowed to myself, that I would make the most of my life.That I would dream big, succeed even larger than ANYONE could imagine. So, I finished my first book, started writing my first full novel, started my near life-long dream of Daddie'z Home Entertainment, and started a new relationship. Suffice to say, not much has come of all my dreams. I did start recording music, but, personal demons have hindered the fruition of  the complete album. Though the first book is complete, finding a publisher for it has been an uphill battle. The novel... Let's just say, genius takes time. Test readings are phenomenal, but, I can't put bullshit out to the masses. The new relationship... turned into another new relationship, which is "different" from past exploits in the meaning that she has 3 (count 'em) children from a previous, and unrenounced, marrige (the divorce isn't final). You know, sometimes, the most difficult thing in the world is to look yourself in the eye and tell yourself to keep fighting. But, thats what I do. Every morning when I wake up. And every night when I go to sleep. Cut from a bosses cloth, do what a boss does... If anyone is reading this, and thinking "Damn, I'm in a tough spot... I don't know what to do..." I have to say, look inside yourself, and find the boss inside. God is always with you, but you need to be with you, too. There's nothing worse than have the world for you, and ONLY you against yourself.
    Yeah. I know. Not the typical chest-thumpin-I-can-fuck-more-bitches- and-dress-flyer-than-you type of blog you were expecting, huh? Another sign of a Boss, the ability to change and inspire.
    Verse for the Day... (Damn, I haven't done one of these for a minute)....Beating blocks like a drum major/ never lackin paper/ got the block in left pocket, right beside the pager/ Watch my watch/ now you got the vapors, Call me Boss Biz/ Just friends with yo baby momma/ never mind the jizz/ Off top like pop fizz/ Ya'll needed me back/ Takin' over like a dictator/ Heat strapped to my back/ Call me Shaq in new circles/ push a chevy Laker purple/ Grape Ape in N-A-P/ 24's bigger than frames on the face of Urkel/ Lames/ Fakin, knowin' I'll hurt you/ still trying to battle me/ Savagery in these words, man/ you settin up for a catastrophe/ best to come out after me/ Soundscan-wise/ Number 1 holdin the bullet/ Soundscan don't lie...
    Usually I leave you with a thought... Something halfway wise, for you to ponder in your day-to-day life... Not this time...
Quote of the Day: "Excuse me, while I whip this out!"-- Cleavon Little as "Black Bart"-- Blazing Saddles

Archives: The Most Dangerous Weapon in America...

Continuing with the myspace archives, I present to you "The Most Dangerous Thing in America: A NIGGA With a Brain!!!"

Subject: The Most dangerous thing in America: A "Nigga" with a brain!!!
Date: 2/2/2006

        I got a real problem, folks... The problem is hair. Not my hair, or even your hair, but a type of hair. An "Ethinic" type of hair. For those uninformed, I am a black man (wow, buzz killer, huh?), and as a black man, I have a-typical "Negro" hair (kinky, wavy, curly, depending on your mix). Almost two years ago, I started growing my hair out in braids for rebellious reasons, but that's another story in itself. Since this decision, I've ran a retail store (mom n pop record store; Midtown Music, to those from Nap), worked in a major retail chain (Best Buy [fuckin' clown bastards]), and started my own business (Daddie'z Home Entertainment: Get on the bandwagon now!!). Now, being a 24 year-old black man in America is hard enough with the psuedo-racism, police harassment, et cetera, et cetera, but, my case is a little different. I stand 6'2 (6'6 with 'fro fully extended), I weigh around 275-280lbs. Kinda intimidating to the majority of the nation. I also have a college education, am extremely well mannered (given the environment I grew up in, that truly IS a compliment), given my surroundings, I can blend into any circle because I know how to play this game called LIFE. My beef comes with something I noticed during my tenure at Best Buy.
    Granted, I ran an urban mom n pop for 3 1/2 years, so I know a lot about urban music. But, I listen to EVERYTHING!!! Beck, Foo Fighters, My Chemical Romance, Fall Out Boy, Alicia Keys, Paul Wall, Garth Brooks, Trace Adkins, etc. I worked in the cell phone department in Best Buy, yet customers (read: WHITE PEOPLE) would approach me and ask (on a daily basis) what was the "blazing new music" from the marginally (read: BET spin cycle) famous black artist. I didn't really let it bother me, until I asked one customer, in a half joking, half "I-could-crush-your-head-with-a-40 ounce-liquor-bottle" tone, "Why did you pass-by ALL of the employees (read: White) in that department to ask my opinion?" His response? "Because, you know, man, you LOOK like you might know what you're talking about" (read: You're the same color as the guy on this cd case, so YOU must own this cd, right?). I officially started to take notice of what I was being subjected to on a daily basis. Of all the black employees in the store, I was the most ethnically appealling. The long braids, the cocksure swagger, and the Black skin I wear, not to mention my ability to decode ebonics, all play a part in how people perceive me. I ask "Why?"
    My cousin happens to be a minister here in the city and for Black History Month, he's decided to grow out his hair and get a hairstyle called "Twisties," where the hair is washed, gelled, and curled around the end of a rat-tail comb all over the person's head. The end result (depending on hair length) usually is the "straw braid" effect. I asked my cousin why, after wearing his hair short for most of his life, would he choose to change hairstyles for one month, and one month only? His response, "Because I don't want to look like a thug all year long." So, me being me, a debate ensues, where the question is raised "Who says that black hairstyles have to be typified as "thug" hairstyles? Why are braids and dreadlocks demonized in American culture? Because a bad person wore their hair in that fashion? Hitler wore a taper, (barbers know what I'm talking about) does that mean that every German with a taper is evil? Osama Bin Laden wears a scruffy, unkempt beard, so (my point is proven here) does every male of Middle Eastern descent wish to harm America? NO!! But, ignorant, paranoid minds wish for you to believe the stereotypes. These people are called ignorant for a reason. They IGNORE facts! Yes, there are bad people out here with hairstyles that will cause you to always associate it with that person. I'm not trying to sound preachy, but this shit is ridiculous!! PEOPLE STYLE HAIR, HAIRSTYLES DO NOT MAKE PEOPLE !!!!
   The fact that an individual, with credentials and accolades of their own merit, wears a hairstyle and assholes get to judge them based on a predetermined experience with someone of similar features or characteristics... Layman's terms: All Black, Asian, Middle Eastern, and Hispanic people look alike, is un-fuckin'-believable!! And it's sad. We live in a country that wouldn't be shit, if it weren't for the people who only wish to be looked at as equals in the collective minds of the majority.
    I really want to know what it's going to take to get some unbiased respect out of one another, because, as much as I want to say it is... It's not ALL White people. There are successful black business professionals, that won't hire a black person because of their hairstyle. "Braids aren't professional." MY ASS they're not "professional!" There are Arab (Pakistani, Afghani, Saudi, etc.) Americans who stare, in awe, of someone from their native land in traditional garb or praying. Hispanic Americans who think ALL Mexicans are lazy. Asian Americans who really believe that they are ALL good in math and science (sorry buddy. No you're not.) These are nothing more than STEREOTYPES people (and I'm not talking Bose, Klipsch, or Pioneer, pally), and the more you play into them, the further you HELP set this country back. (I'm done ranting. Go eat some cereal, now.)
  
    
    I don't have a verse for today... Really. That rant you just read took a lot out of me.
       Quote for the day: " Reading is Fundamental"--- Literacy awareness PSA

From The Archives: How Do YOU Deal?

If you've been following me (as a reader, for you nutjobs out there) for any length of time, you know that I have been known, at times, to try and add a little depth to my, sometimes, sophomoric sense of reality... It's not often, but, frequent enough that people DO realize that I'm a normal (by SOMEONE'S standards), functioning adult in America. So, with that being known, some of you may have followed my original blog on myspace (www.myspace.com/twenty24! I want more friends!!!), and seen some of my rantings on that wonderful networking site. After speaking to a couple of readers, I decided to transplant a few of my more popular blogs over here to Da IN-fection, and introduce my new readers and fans to some of my older work. This one is from February 29th of this year, and something on my heart told me that needed to be posted for someone reading. Enjoy, and be blessed:

How Do YOU Deal?

I'm sitting here, moments after clocking out from work, thinking about life. And death. My cousin called me earlier today and told me that his grandfather, my great-uncle, didn't have much time left... If you've been following this blog awhile, you'd know that in recent years I've dealt with my fair share of death. And it's a changing experience... But, what struck me about his comment, other than the obvious grief that I truly haven't heard in his voice in some time, was the choice of his words. Not. Much. Time. Left.
We as human beings operate in what we call "Real Time." These are the seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, and years in which we actually breathe and interact with other "real, live people." We get so caught up in Time that we obsess over it. We dread time. We fear time. We panic when we feel time is short, and waste what we call "free time." If you spent the time on Earth that my uncle, or grandmother and grandfather, my mom, my friends that have made the transition spent on this Earth, what would you tell everyone on the other side you did with your time? What stories will you tell the saints about your time in God's Ultimate Project?
I know, I rarely get all philisophical and preachy in this forum, but I think situations like this demand this respect. I love my uncle, and will always treasure the memories that I have of him and will pass on the life lessons that I learned from him to my children. I also know that I have members of my family that are in pain, that probably never wanted to see this day arrive. But, one thing I do know, though I am no biblical scholar, is that God has already planned our year, month, week, day, hour, minute, and second to return to Glory, welcoming us with open arms to say "Job well done, my child."
I know that this blog may seem a bit pointed or even favored, but it's not. This message is for someone who is struggling with some kind of pain, worrying about a family member, or simply wishing that they had more time. I don't care who you are, either sitting at your computer, or even doing as I am, and checking up on myspace via a mobile phone. But, if you're reading this and you feel that one of these people are you, simply say this prayer to yourself:


"Father, I come to you today, humbled by Your presence, asking for Your guidance, asking for Your favor. I've lived my life, worried about the time I have, or the lack there of, wasted time, not fully appreciating the time that You have given me, and I apologize for that. I come to You today to ask that You guide my heart in the direction that You want me to go. That You look inside me and see that I only wish to please You and I seek only Your favor. I lift Your name, and place my burdens on the altar of Grace, knowing that You have already blessed my situation and have already bestowed Your favor on me. This I ask, I pray, I cry, I shout, I beg, I plead, I accept in Your Holy name. Amen."


Quote of the day: "Live by faith. Let go, and Let God."

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